I Kicked Fear & Anxiety Right in the Face

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have struggled with fear and anxiety for the last six years. Many times unable to leave my house, I would sit in the shower and wonder how I had gotten to this point. Triggered by a physically traumatic birth from my second child, my life was turned upside down and sideways for years, and I wanted a way out, desperately, but could never seem to find a way to escape the grip that they had on me.

Two weeks ago our church hosted Sump Camp meetings and Mahesh Chavda came and spoke at two of them. One of the nights he had everyone stand and declare that, among other things, anxiety and fear were broken off of people's minds and they were no longer allowed to be generational.

The solar eclipse was coming closer and I wanted to go see it in totality. The few people I told that I wanted to go and see it in totality told me I was crazy and tried to talk me out of it. My husband was unable to take time off of work so I was left with a choice: go without him or don't go. I suddenly felt brave, ambitious, and fearless. So I planned a trip and at the last minute a friend and her two daughters decided to join us. So off we went, two young moms and five kids ranging from seven to barely two. We had our first stop planned, at a ranch in eastern Oregon, and then no plans for the next two days. Now, again, that is not me. I usually plan things to the minute.

Oh my word. We had an absolute blast! The eclipse in itself was amazing, but the victory I won over fear and anxiety was
well worth every dime I spent on gas!

We left Sunday morning and drove down to eastern Oregon and the city of Spray and camped in the middle of a cow pasture with several hundred people from all over. No running water, no flush toilets, no fast food.


Here we are, viewing the eclipse, waiting for it to hit totality. And when it did, it was incredible!


We left shortly after the eclipse and after consulting a road map, yes we were completely off grid from any working GPS, we picked highways and made our way north-west to Arlington. From there we read a campsite book that my friend had brought and found a campground along I-84.


It was 94 degrees at 5 pm at Memaloose State Park so we ran everyone through the shower at 7 and played in the tent until dark. I woke up with what Xander described as "the best bed-hair ever!" I also look like a mom who is worn out but ready to tackle the day!


We headed to the Bonneville Dam and all squished in one car to get through the gate . It was cozy but lots of giggles!


The dam was awesome! So huge and powerful!


So beautiful.


Xander got to have some face time with a huge sturgeon at the fish hatchery.


A quick lunch of sandwiches and we were on the road again to Multnomah Falls.


Gabriella had a meltdown on the way up and I carried JoyAnna on my shoulders, but we made it up to the upper level bridge and could feel the spray coming off the waterfall. Over 660 feet and gorgeous!! We plan on going back with daddy, Gramma and Grampa and hiking all the way to the top!


What would a trip to the Portland area be without a stop at Petunias??? Oh my, this ice cream collaboration with Salt & Straw was amazing! Cookies and Cream with Raspberry Swirl in a house made GF waffle cone… so good!!


We hit terrible traffic (for the first time our entire trip) on the way home. This is a picture of us getting passed by a guy on a Rascal motorized scooter….
it took us six and a half hours to make a two and half hour drive from Portland to Seattle. Absolutely ridiculous! But we played the Alphabet Game about 800 times, played the Animal Game and made up silly stories.

All in all our adventure was incredible! The kids and I are much closer, we did hard things together, I didn't cry once entire time, and nobody barfed (a huge win for a road trip in our family as two of us get car sick). We were totally unplanned after 10:23 am Monday morning and got home at 9:32 pm Tuesday night. I'm proud of us! And I am also proud to say that I kicked fear in the face! I felt anxiety trying to rationalize its way back into my mind but I didn't even entertain the thoughts. There is power in declaration, in corporate prayer and in His blood!

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!

3 thoughts on “I Kicked Fear & Anxiety Right in the Face

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